She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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