I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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