bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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