Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
