walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i came on her dog
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
