My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
