Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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