Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
