need another drink. this is the easiest way
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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