So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
