That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
