i permit you to call me
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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