ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
