Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
