You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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