My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
