yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
