Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
