i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
NoShamevember. You game?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
