C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
