I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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