Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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