i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
