know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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