it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
