Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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