Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
