I'm drive I can fine osifer
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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