And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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