well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
