How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
