girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
