just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
