I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
