i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
