Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Found your dick twin last night
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
