Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I showed him my bush... on skype.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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