well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
