At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
No more Irish car bombs ever.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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