Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
