If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
