He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
