I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
