Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
