You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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