so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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