Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
