But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
