Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
