Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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