i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I have aggressive nipples.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
