I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
