***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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