Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
