you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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