Got a toothbrush?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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