so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
